Parliament Starts with a "K" :D

Frankly, I'm not a man with a keen eye on politics. The way i see it(just as the average Indian sees it), our Parliament is the second largest congregation of ugly criminals in India(Second only to "Jails":P) It further does not help that the Indian Political Structure(as they told me in 8th/9th grade) is one of the most complicated the world has seen. Full to the brim with equally complicated politicians. But when a major party of a ruling coalition withdraws support & threats of an imminent fall of the government arise, even the most flaccid and pedestrian political viewers have got to stand up and take notice!

What a dramatic couple of weeks it has been! The Parliament, I realised, is the very reason why men do not watch K-serials. Not only is the drama real and totally intense, not only are the bitching and stabs-in-the-back more grave, but the outcome of the above forces may well alter your plans and schemes for another 5 years! Watch one, just one session of the Parliament and you'll realise how pathetic and ridiculous K-serial drama really is!

So putting it in my typical carefree and insouciant way, all this political brouhaha seems to revolve around a Nuclear-Deal being proposed by the USA. Details, I do not know, but it seems that they'll give us a fair amount of sanctions for nuclear testing and use. And apparently, its been coming for a while now. It was initiated by the BJP some 5 years ago , when they were in power. But unfortunately, they fell from power and the Congress emerged victorious with a great deal of help from the Communist brigades. Commies are secular, so they don't side with "religious-fanatic-scum" like BJP and other Saffrons. Anyway, the Congress found a golden opportunity to complete this "historic" deal and bark about it for years later. And they had 5 years to. It had to happen.

Don Vito Corleone once told his son, Sonny, "Sonny, you never go against the family. Never let an outsider know about a rift in the family". Obviously the Lefties were too high-handed to accept the Don's immortal words. They put the dirty laundry in the UPA family up for all to see. It was a deal they COULD refuse. They did not want it, for anything that comes from America is cursed, vile and spam potent enough to destroy the world. While they claimed that they deal makes no sense to the poor Indian and the benefits would not trickle down as easily as Chidambaram thought, political viewers more adept than myself commented that this hullabaloo would not happen had the deal come from China.


So after playing hide-and-seek with the Politburo for around 3 years(!), PM Manmohan Singh and the Congress puffed their chests out and said they wanted the deal. Commies said, "touch the deal and we withdraw support". A comment that Congress knew had deflated their recently puffed chests.

But last month, the "Man" in Mohan finally got up and said, "support or no support, I'm taking the deal". Indeed it was a deal he couldn't refuse. India is reeling under an energy crisis which is hindering industrial productivity, which is India's Core Competence on the global stage. More energy, like Alessandra Ambrosio, was something to be grabbed with both hands. He took the deal.

It was a move that would shock even the nonagenarian leftist. The Karats, Bardhans, Basus and other babu-moshais agreed to disagree. The Capitalism-blinded Congress had to be taught a lesson. The Red Army marched and punched their Iron Fists in the Congress' guts and yodelled, "Commies not dead!". And it was "Curtains" for the coalition. The Reds chose the Saffrons instead.

The Congress didn't want no elections given the "economic slowdown" and the "high uncontrolled rates of inflation" that the BJP is rebukingly pointing out every 3 days. They ran helter and skelter, hither and tither, from pillar to post, from a jailed MP to the undertrial one. Unlike what Einstein said," whoever could be counted, counted!". Which is where i feel the Congress lost the credibility it had managed to raise with loan-waivers, n-deals and what not. In the recent Parliament session, false accusations, lies and currency notes came thick and fast. So fast that our poor aging Speaker could no longer follow what was going on. It was like me at a thriller movie. But it kinda proved what a bitch democracy can be at times. Do one good deed and 5 bad ones to atone for it.

K serials? This is the REAL set! The REAL drama!

Can't say?

If you subscribe to any English(i'm not too aware what system the regional-language-ones follow) newspaper, on perhaps the front page, you will come across a poll question and what the respondents of the previous day's poll had to say. And the system is simple enough. Close-ended questions. No scope for any prolixity. "Yes" or "No". What piques me is the "cant' say" part.

Now frankly that "Can't say" really baffles me. I mean since it is a voluntary involvement for the people who respond to the poll. Its not compulsory to register your views. Imagine, during elections, you walk into the booth, see the names and parties of the candidates and you say,"well I'm not so sure". "Can't say". Its not as though you go to their site, check the poll page to see what question they're asking and then get trapped. "Answer bitches, or you're stuck here forever". No, its really much simpler and much more within the humanitarian rights. See the question, you agree or disagree with the point of view they present, and leave. Why should people feel the need to stay on the page, ponder long and hard upon the question, scratch their brains, and then come to the inscrutable position where they haven't a honest opinion and since they are trapped on the page until they can provide an honest opinion, what will come to the poor damsels' rescue? The "can't say" option. Do you really think that such a dire situation is possible?


The problem is, to around 3-10% respondents actually DO get stuck at this unfortunate juncture. Only the trap isn't technological. Its purely psychological. Let me explain.


You'll see it in most Indians. Most commonly in women. Indians, as a community, can't help but put their two cents in every time. We have this compulsive need to keep giving people advice, because we know that what will say will only alter their lives, and for the better. "listen to me baby..", "I know.. I'll tell you..", "Take my advice...". We have to. We just have to. And this is where the "can't say" option comes to our rescue. We have to say SOMETHING! But we don't agree, nor do we disagree! Heck! We don't even know what the hell the question means! But we gotta say something! How can the world go without knowing what we think about this question? How will the world come to realise that not only are we ignoramus nuts, but we also need to display this ignorance unabashedly?

"Can't Say"

Mr. Conscience, Mrs. Guilt

Of all the characteristics i embody, one of the most unfortunate one would be my love to see other people happy. (I see the hug-man, the Hitch.. Aaah, if only I too could do something to make this world a better place to live!) The other one would be the vicious circle of conscience and guilt I get caught up in almost too often. And growing up in the cultured climes of my conservative household, the conscience-guilt circle is nearly inevitable. Too often, i feel surrounded by a bevy of self-absorbed and thoughtless jerks. Furthermore, they are unwanted. It is almost like my compulsive, joy-infusing subconscious calls out to the worst of this specimen & pleads them to come and defile my life with their damned presence while i ardously work towards making them happy.

Look around you, they are all there. Neighbours, old friends, relatives. All of them land, when you are(or lets say ESPECIALLY when you are) on velvet, on your front porch, with rigorous frowns on their faces and appeal to your subconscious to get them off. And Indian as i am, i exclaim "Atithi Devo Bhava" and allow them to infest my life. Ever felt this way? No? Well you're goddamn lucky then

But if you have fallen prey to the above evil trick of the tribe the next feeling is furthermore commonplace. The conscience-guilt phase. Let me explain.

So the Fuglies infest our life. Their very presence is traumatising. The mere sight of these tribals gives you fits. You wanna throw cats at them. They ramble on about the nonsense of their lives which is about as repetitive and moronic as Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thii..They pick at your brain incessantly. What's worse? They don't even care! Every inch, every fibre on your body wants them to shut up. If only they could read your mind, the words "fuckoff" and Get Lost" are engraved in your mind, Font 72 Bold, Italic, Underlined. The abuse is on the tip of your tongue. But does it come out? Nope. It is help on by a frayed but resolute rope by a SOB called Conscience. "You'll repent" he says. You try telling him that Repentance would be a brighter day. But Conscience merely smiles and your resolve breaks down. In case you break free of him, he sends his slightly more inexorable and retributive crony. Guilt. And she will haunt you till the day you die. She will make mountains from molehills of your sins even on your deathbed. She'll show you hell even before you go there. "And go there you shall son!" she reminds.

And so you write songs, poems, blogs:).. Abuse them, but anon. Try dispelling them from your life. they will never leave. They're like the stains on your favourite shirt. In one of my Jeeves-Woosters, i read Jeeves telling Wooster, "You can dispel nature with a pitchfork, but she will always return". I guess the same can be said about each and everyone of the parties present. Guilt, Conscience and those dastardly pinpricks. Eddie Vedder sang, "Try to forget this.. Try to erase this..". You can't.

Ever got caught is this? No? Well you're goddamn lucky then! :-S